To Be Honest

To be honest I used to put so much effort into finding the perfect girl. Every event or social gathering I was looking for that moment when we would catch each other’s eye and that would be it.

Every time I heard about a girl I wondered could this be her? Working myself up so much that when we did meet I was overcome with self consciousness, my face turning as red as the seams on a baseball. Fun times. Leaving every event so depressed because I had not found the one.

I said my motives were Godly, but really I was so caught up in trying to find my match that I was missing all this valuable time to find out who I was.

Then I heard God say “Stop trying to find “the perfect girl” instead find who YOU are. Fall in love with who I made you to be first. Stop imagining every event will be the moment and instead focus on making the most of every moment as a single”. It was not fun to hear at the time but it has brought me so much freedom as I am learning each day to live radically and leave the matchmaking and timing up to God.

Don’t rush things, especially love. It will come, in the right time, and with all the right reasons.

One day…

One day you’re gonna want him back. That guy that knew he wasn’t perfect and that he screwed up a lot, but tried so hard to be for you. That guy who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way he could. The guy who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That guy who still can’t bring himself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. 

Throughout Life

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won’t judge you. This person is your soul-mate, your best friend. Don’t ever let them go.

Best Advice

The best advice I’ve ever gotten was said that I shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone whom I wouldn’t marry, for it’s a waste of time and takes you off the market.

So don’t worry about relationships.

Build friendships and one day maybe you’ll suddenly meet your soul mate, or you’ll realize you want to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.

Your young life shouldn’t be spent trying to fall in love or even having to worry about a partner.

Your life right now should be filled with spending time on finding yourself and building friendships.

Heart Break

Everyone at some point in their life is going to experience it. And, you know what? It’s probably one of the most painful things a person has to go through. I’m not going to lie. When you get your heart broken, it feels like it shattered into a million pieces. It’s like that person you were head over heels for stomped mercilessly on your heart. It feels like your heart is being shredded to pieces, cut up, and thrown in the trash, left to rot. It hurts a lot, emotionally, and physically. Getting heart broken actually makes your heart physically hurt. You wish it wasn’t like this. You wish it was a temporary nightmare. But, the sad truth? It’s not. It’s reality. And you’re going to just have to accept it, the pain and all.

You meet someone…

You meet someone.

You two get close.

It’s all great for awhile.

Then someone stops trying.

Talk less. Awkward conversations.

Then drifting.

No communication whatsoever.

Memories start to fade.

Then the person you know becomes that person you KNEW.

That’s how it usually goes, right?

Sad isn’t it.

End of the Semester Reflection

My first semester of college went awesome. It took a little it of adjusting to the new freedoms and start new ways to study, but with the help of upper class-men and my usem class I felt I adjusted pretty darn smoothly. My grades are all where they should be. I have got involved in the Rugby team and also CRU. And oddly enough, I think I have made more friends here at college than I ever had in college. I am just truly blessed that my first semester went so great. I got to partake in many different events ranging from going to different formal dances dressed rather nicely to performing in Lip Sync as Miley Cyrus with about as minimum amount of clothing possible. Just an overall fun time and I would do it all over again if I had too.